Can nerds save the planet?

There’s little question that climate change (formerly known as global warming) is the real deal. The Earth’s average temperature has increased by 1 degree Fahrenheit over the last 100 years or so. While that might not seem like much, it’s enough to cause widespread chaos and flooding across the globe. Some of the more remote and colder areas in the globe are heating up even faster, causing icecaps to melt, polar bears to become homeless, and oceans to invade our homes. Warmer oceans create conditions for larger and more intense storms. In fact, floods, wind storms, hurricanes, and other storms are occurring more and more often as the world’s thermometer ticks upward.
What’s causing this global increase in temperature? Most agree that the infamous “greenhouse gases” are to blame. They trap the sun’s heat and radiation, causing a greenhouse effect, thereby warming the planet. Most of these gases come from energy (coal burning), transportation (such as cars, planes, etc), and livestock (yep, cows create loads of noxious fumes that harm the environment).
It appears that nerds may have the solution to this whole climate change thing. A few dudes from Intellectual Ventures (see, it even sounds nerdy) have come up with an idea, called StratoShield, that just might work. Taking what they learned from history, these guys plan to simulate the effects that a volcanic eruption would have on the globe. Throughout history, volcanic eruptions have often been followed by cold years. For example, Mt. Tambora in Indonesia blew its top in 1815, and the following year was the second-coldest year in four centuries for the northern hemisphere. Instead of detonating hydrogen bombs inside Earth’s volcanos like Xenu, these smart fellas plan to construct an 18 mile high hose supported with helium balloons. In a nutshell, the hose will release aerosols and sulfur into the atmosphere for a number of days. In essence, this is like applying sun screen to the planet, helping the atmosphere to reflect more of the sun’s energy, allowing the planet to cool.
Some of you may wonder what ill-effects this may have on Earth and its natural cycle, and you’re definitely not alone. Ideas like this beg the question: when is enough enough? Is there a line when it comes to environmentalism, and are we crossing it? After the medieval period, numerous volcanic eruptions causing a “little ice age.” Although Earth’s average temperature only decreased by a few degrees, this was enough to create harsh conditions across the globe for at least two hundred years. What if our sulfur-spitting-hose idea in the stratosphere goes haywire? What if the Earth’s temperature plummets? Hypothetically speaking, Arizonans would freeze, and that’s absolutely certain. I don’t know about you, but I’d rather be hot than freezing cold. It seems to me that, while their intentions are clearly good (saving polar bears and beaches, etc), this idea might not be the best for the planet and the human race.
Do we need to do something to help our environment? Yes, absolutely. Maybe we should start by offering incentives for people to drive less or eat less red meat. Could we potentially screw up the planet’s natural cycle by trying to play “god?” Frighteningly, yes. However, even though this StratoShield idea seems a little crazy or far-fetched, it is already accomplishing its purpose. It creates dialogue. It helps us to realize that we are, in fact, in trouble. The sooner we understand this, the better, and the sooner we’ll be able to tackle the issues we’re faced with on a global scale.
Ryan Biggs is a huge fan of Formula 1 racing and soccer. He’s a dad, a self-proclaimed know-it-all car enthusiast, and an aspiring restaurant bathroom critic. Read Ryan’s posts >>










Nope.. nerds can’t save the planet from global warming or cooling or magnetic polar inversion. But there is a bright side.
The earth has survived (quite nicely) at least 5 major extinction events. This is where the vast majority of species are erased. Sort of a cosmic reset button. So if ol’ mother earth wants to pull the flush chain, the earth as we have experienced since the last ice age disappears, but the planet will continue to spin and be indescribably beautiful.. just few if any humans on board.
The idea of a star wars sulfur hose is cute.. beguiling even. Has a bit of the flavor of the tower of Babel to it. Magnificent hubris. I greatly admire the audacity. But in the end, a bit like spitting in the ocean to add to it’s volume.
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